InsaneJournal

ARGH FATHERFUCKER
I had a catastrophic filter collapse in my coffee maker this morning and now, after forcing myself to watch Batman Begins, a movie that I hate, in order to check the plausibility of a vid idea that I have, I have discovered that I can't rip the disc correctly, due to some sort of copy protection (oh, DVD Decrypter, you have let me down).

But! I come bearing...unfinished Grey's Anatomy fic? Yes, it's true. I don't watch Grey's Anatomy anymore; I never came back after winter hiatus, so my last episode was 5x10 "All by Myself." I wrote this after 5x03 "Here Comes the Flood," and, as I said, it is (a) unfinished, (b) didactic, and (c) not remotely in line with later episodes, but I like some of the dialogue. Besides, the world always needs more Meredith & Cristina.


When the doorbell rang, Cristina sprinted across the living room and threw open the door in record time.

"Ready to warm your house," Meredith announced. Then her face clouded. "Is that—? Oh my god!"

"Yes," Cristina growled, dragging Meredith into her bedroom. Even with the door closed, she could still faintly hear Callie and Erica celebrating their mutual womanhood. She threw herself onto the bed and shoved her head beneath a pillow. "Help yourself," she mumbled into the mattress, waving blindly at the tequila on the nightstand.

When she didn't hear Meredith move, she sighed and rolled over, lifting the pillow to ask, "Was there something about 'help yourself' that implied I'd fix you a drink?"

Meredith was gnawing her lower lip. "It's just—Dr. Wyatt said I'd been making progress in therapy because it used to be just me and a bottle of tequila."

Cristina sighed and pushed herself into a half-sit, half-slouch against the headboard. "First, this is you and me and a bottle of tequila. Second, I thought you quit therapy because McDreamy's magic penis healed all your psychic pain."

"Cristina!"

"Don't Cristina me—pour."

Meredith, who was pleasingly pliable except when it came to shutting up, did. But after she'd taken a sip of her drink, she continued, "I thought you'd agreed to support me and Derek."

"I just called his penis magic; how is that not supportive?" She waved off Meredith's renewed protest. "You're my person, my favorite person, so if you want me to, then I'll cheerlead or whatever. Who knows, maybe you and McDreamy will work. I keep thinking you'll get fed up with his controlling assholery for good, but maybe not."

Meredith's head jerked back. "Derek isn't controlling—"

"Then why does he keep issuing these ultimatums? You have to commit, he has to move in, Izzie and Alex have to move out—"

"We agreed that Izzie and Alex aren't moving out, so there."

"Oh, so he acts like a decent human being and you're supposed to be grateful. I swear, the next time we're in surgery together, I'll go psycho nurse on him and stab him right in his hair!"

"Cristina!"

She held out her hands. "I'm sorry. I will not mess with the hair. But you do realize that now that you're living together, McDreamy will be forced to deal with you when you're not shiny happy Meredith. Which is basically all the time."

"Hey, I might not be shiny or happy but I am shiny and happier. I finished therapy."

"You quit therapy, remember?"

"Why are you taking Dr. Wyatt's side? You're my person, you take my side!"

"I am on your side. I just can't figure out why you think McDouchey is over here with me."

"Derek is not Burke, Cristina! I know he pushed you to move in together, then he pushed you to marry him, but Derek—okay, he's a little pushy, but he is not Burke! He wants me to be happy."

"And being engaged to be engaged or whatever junior high crap he's pulling this week will make you happy?"

"Yes!"

"Then I cheerlead. Rah, rah! Go team Meredith-McDouchebag."

"Seriously, how much have you had to drink?"

Cristina squinted at the half-empty bottle. "I opened that right after Hahn started calling out for her lord and savior."